In my life I have chosen yoga to be the way of life I want to live…the path I want to follow. I like what yoga intends to teach us. I like that there is no religious agenda. In short it is how to simply be human; to yourself, to others, and to the universe. It is accepting things as they are with no judgment or preconceived notions. When I stumble on something I try to think about how my yoga can help me to work through it in the kindest way. In the last month or so I have started this inward journey through yoga to get to my truth. What I have seen has really gotten to me. The reality of things that I have come to see is really hard…I see how very selfish people are, how much we all really judge others, how lazy so many people are, and just how oblivious people really are to life and what is going on in their own life. My inward journey was started in order to heal, but my mood is far from healed. I feel worse. I feel very sad. BUT I know that this will change. With hard work I will work through this. It is hard to get to a point where you have found something so special and want to share it with others, but just to find that they aren’t willing to find it themselves. I have found life and have realized that there are a lot of things that we humans put emphasis on things in life that really mean nothing. It is not material things, money, drugs, alcohol-in any quantity that brings quality of life. It is what we make of what we have within ourselves and others that brings quality. If you want a better relationship with someone, then change yourself; show them what it is that you want. If they don’t change, then maybe they are fighting within themselves. Know that you can’t change them, but you can work on yourself and how you handle it. It is called support, love, caring, compassion, etc. Sometimes you have to separate yourself if it is bad enough. That’s life. I personally have become very emotionally affected by negative people recently. I see in my own life and watching others how bad negativity hurts us and I want it out of my life. So, I am studying and turning inward to find how I can be less negative-it’s the only way I know how. I have found a website (http://swamij.com/index-yoga-meditation-yoga-sutras.htm ) explaining the yoga sutras. I enjoy the insight. I want to cultivate better relationships. This is what it says about getting free from negativity with other people: “In sutra 2.33-2.34, the question is posed as to what to do when one does not act or think in accordance with yogic values such as non-violence, but rather, has negative emotions. What is one to do with such strong negative thought patterns? The suggestion is made in those sutras, that we cultivate an opposite attitude by reminding ourselves (through internal dialogue) that holding onto this negative attitude is going to do nothing but bring unending pain and misery.” It says that we may have the follow feelings towards people we feel as being bad: “Anger/aversion: Most of us have some limits of what we find as acceptable behavior. We might sincerely hold the belief that all people are pure at their deepest level. Yet, are there not some individuals you think to be dishonest, cruel, mean, or even wicked, or evil? Are there not some behaviors that you consider so outside of acceptable conduct that it strongly causes you to feel anger and frustration? Even if you really feel strongly about some other person in this way, is it not also true that you, yourself, carry the burden of this? How to be free from that is the question.” That being said it tells us it is better to cultivate: “Neutrality/acceptance: To counterbalance the negative feelings toward someone you feel is bad, wicked, or lacking in virtue, the antidote is to cultivate an attitude of neutrality, indifference, acceptance, or equanimity. It can be difficult to cultivate this attitude, since it might make us think we are approving of their bad behavior. We seek the neutrality of inner balance and equanimity, which does not mean approving of the person's actions. In fact, cultivating attitudes of neutrality might go a long way in being able to cause change. It surely helps to stabilize and clear the mind for meditation.” This could not be more dead on for me. While writing this I came back to the thought of a “Beginner’s Mind” from my last post. That, too, could help cultivate neutrality-when dealing with these negative people and behaviors’ get rid of what you think you know about how they are or will be, you know those preconceptions, and be open to the goodness that they can be. Treat the interaction as if it is the first time you are meeting them; be kind, compassionate, and accept what happens without expecting what you think may happen. Maybe with a “Beginner’s Mind” I can see something I didn’t see before.
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