Friday, May 18, 2012

Getting to the core of the problem

In an effort to deepen my yoga practice and take a good, deep look within myself I have decided to journal and blog about my yoga practice. So, day one and I have not practiced any asanas (physical poses) as of yet. It is a common misconception that yoga is just "stretching". Sure that is part of it; however, there is so much more that is combined with the asanas (or stretches for those who think this way) that makes up yoga. Of course, for each "yogi" the practice is different. Many of us start out with different reasons for stepping on the mat. Maybe you start with yoga, as I did, as just a form of exercise. Some may stay with that practice or it can evolve into more of a self practice, an inward journey, as it has for me. There are so many different types of yoga and many ways to teach it. I have taken many classes, some I liked, some I really did not like, but some were simply what I made them. I have found what works for me and I love what my practice has brought to my life, so I want to share what I have learned with those that I love and care about. One thing that we are taught in yoga is non-judgment. This is something I struggle with...not my judgment of others per say, but my judgment of myself...on and off the mat. Which brings me to my other point-for me yoga has evolved into a way of life, not just some stretching that I do on a mat. It has taught me to carry what I learn on the mat into my non-judgment both of myself and others. It has taught me to honor that which is beautiful in everyone. I admit that I judge...come on we all do, but I have also always had an insane amount of love for EVERY being, it pours out of me-mostly in the form of tears. Me and my “love” is actually something my family and I laugh about; bugs as pets, dead kittens in my pocket, I am sure there are others. It took me a long time to learn how to deal with this. I acted out a lot when I was younger. I believe it was mostly because I had all this stuff inside that I didn't know what to do with it. It would make me mentally and physically ill. As I grew up I learned how to deal with the "symptoms" of all of this, but yoga has really taught me how to get to the core of what is ME on the inside and embrace all of what I find without judgment. About 6 months ago I really began looking into becoming a yoga instructor. It has yet to come to fruition and the last two weeks has made me thankful for that. I am not ready. I need to deepen my own practice, learn more about what yoga really is to me in order to really be a benefit, at least the benefit that I hope to be, to my future students. Yoga is THAT important to me. Just like me becoming an elementary school teacher, I have to first learn how to be a good student in order to be a good teacher. In the right time it will happen and I know that time has not yet arrived, so until then I will make the most of being a yoga student. The timing for that couldn't be better...I need my yoga right now like my body needs water. I am making an inward journey to get to the core of me and my mat will take me there. Please step on my mat with me or unroll your own and lets dig in to the deep depths of who we are and bring that yoga off the mat and into the world.

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